religion religion

being here has made me have much more respect for religion, seeing as i completely hated it before i got here. i mean, i dont think in anyway i will ever have a religion but i think it's kind of neat that some people do.

i feel like religion is so controlling over your life. like you have these rules that some person wrote in a book and you either follow them whole-heartedly or half ass it. it kind of annoys me when people half ass it. how do you pick and choose which things to follow and which rules to break? i always feel like you totally cant be yourself or express yourself fully because you're scared of what god or your family will think, what others will think. i've had people say to me, oh, i want to do this but i cant. I dont understand how you can want something and be perfectly capable of doing it, but feel held back because of your religion. it just seems so ridiculous, i guess this may be the sole reason that i dont have a religion. oh, and maybe the fact that i cant fanthom the idea that there is some god watching and being there for us or up there punishing us for things we do wrong. if there is a god up there, he shouldnt be so judgemental.

dont get me wrong, i respect people that have something or someone to pray to and rules for life. but for me, i can write when i feel down, i can talk to my friends. i can hope and hope that things will just work, and thats good enough for me. i can learn from my mistakes, because i know i will make them and that's fine. i accept that. i'm me, i'm going to live my life how i think its right, not how some book tells me i should. and with this i will try my hardest to be the best person, friend, anything i can be.