i have been waking up at 4am-6am the past few days and tossing and turning for hours on end, then i will fall asleep again and only get to sleep about an hour more.
i feel lost, confused, alone. i want this to change. but by the time it changes i will be in china, lost confused and alone. i wanted this summer to be the best summer of my life thus far. not a chance its coming close to summer 05. i mean, im doing all these things that if i were actually happy then maybe it would be alot better i just dont know.
i dont feel i have a support system really anywhere i go. i know i do. but i dont feel that way. its so messed up. i just want to sleep.
i cry pretty much like its my job. i dont think there has been a day in as long as i can remember where i dont cry. i dont feel like my time here is maximized, i feel like im missing out. i feel left out.
i know some people really dont like to hear all of this, but this is how i feel and dont read it if you dont want to hear it i guess.
i feel bitter, i feel so many wrong things. i just want them all to go away.
im sorry my blog is so negative.
2 comments:
i love you.
^^^
i'm no good at writing down words to show i care, but just know that lots of people here think you're really awesome, you're not in this alone, and, in the words of Bane, this too will pass. never apologize for being negi, it's good to let your feelings out and let your friends know that something's not ok, it's something i wish i was better at doing myself. you rule.
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