tomorrow i will be a bridesmaid.

I wish me and this island of penang could get along. everytime i come here, i feel excited about the food, and the sun but i think thats all we have in common. this trip is not exactly my cup of tea either. im not here alone, im with a girl from china who speaks only mandarin, but is super cute and i wish we could become friends.
a teacher from my new work, who im not quite sure how to feel about. the chinese community in medan are not the most welcoming, lovely bunch to be around. and lastly, my boss, who is beyond strange. today he made us girls carry his shopping bags. uh, hello? are you indonesian buddy? a country where men carry there significant others purses in the shopping malls regularly? also, we went to a place for lunch where i couldnt eat and though i told him this, we sat down anyways. then he kept asking what i was gonna do for lunch. ugh
then we went to the mall for 3 hours, where i didnt spend a cent. oh, wait, i bought a bottle of water. but the most exciting news thus far is that oh man, this is so good, the mall had a top shop. and i was standing and browsing and adoring the clothing in REAL LIFE. not on the computer. ive been looking at their website for years now, and dreaming of their clothing, but i must keep dreaming because any piece of clothing that is worth owning in that store is far out of my budget.
we're staying in a hotel. like a holiday inn, actually probably better than that. i usually stay in guesthouses, with fans and cockroaches. i think i prefer this. im not used to this fancy lifestyle in asia. i cant find an internet cafe, because all the people in my hotel are probably rich and have laptops and dont need internet cafes. but me, i walked for 15 mins, and even took a different way back and still couldnt find one. the cockroach fan room is close to everything. best thing is, is its close to little india.
tomorrow im not sure what these people have planned, but i dont think i will join them. i'd much rather spend my time alone, walking around, eating indian food, getting a tan. in medan im always stuck in malls. i despise it. but its kinda risky walking around the streets of medan alone, and nobody will join me cuz their skin will turn brown. so ill take advantage of my walking freedom here.
on a completely other note, i really think im gonna start working on myself. i think too hard. i think most western people are this way. i worry too much and take my stress out on people i love. plus i stress too much. i wanna clear my mind of worry and accept it. i think if i can do this, i will bring alot more happiness and good to my life. im happy now, i just worry alot. i dont want it making me old and sick, and i think thats where its heading. so im gonna try and control it. ANY TIPS?

ps. this is postdated to dec 8th. where i couldnt find an internet cafe. i wrote this on paper.
pps or pss. my mom wants my address and some others have been askign too.
so

Jl. Kapten Muslim gg. solo #11
Medan, North Sumatera
Indonesia
20124